Working with a Narcissistic Boss
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EPISODE 1: Working with a Narcissistic Boss
Transcript
How to Work With a Narcissistic Boss — And When It’s Time to Move On
Welcome to the Bryght Empowerment Podcast, where we unlock the power within you to rise, lead, and thrive! I'm Wilhelmina Stöcker, and every week, we dive into strategies that help you build unstoppable self-confidence, master your mindset, and grow your business skills. Whether you're an aspiring entrepreneur, a career-driven leader, or simply looking for more fulfillment in life—you're in the right place.
Get ready to break through barriers, step into your greatness, and take action toward the life you deserve. Let’s dive in!"
Working with a narcissistic boss can feel like navigating a minefield — one day you’re the star of the team, and the next, you’re walking on eggshells. Narcissistic leaders often crave admiration, resist feedback, and take credit for others’ work. While not every difficult boss is narcissistic, consistent patterns of manipulation, lack of empathy, and excessive self-importance are red flags that shouldn’t be ignored.
The reality is: you may not always have the power to change your boss — but you do have the power to protect your peace, preserve your career trajectory, and eventually make a change. Here’s how to survive and thrive, and how to know when it’s time to move on.
Signs You’re Dealing With a Narcissistic Boss
- They dominate conversations and redirect every topic back to themselves.
- They lack empathy, showing little concern for your workload, well-being, or personal life.
- They take credit for your work, but are quick to assign blame when something goes wrong.
- They gaslight or manipulate, making you doubt your own experience or memory.
- They’re hypersensitive to criticism, even when it’s constructive or professionally delivered.
If you see these signs consistently, you’re likely working with someone driven more by ego than leadership.
The Emotional Toll: When Work Mirrors Home
If you’ve ever lived with a narcissist — whether a parent, partner, or family member — working for one can trigger old wounds and emotional patterns. It may feel eerily familiar:
- You constantly second-guess yourself, walking on eggshells to avoid triggering their anger.
- You’re hypervigilant, trying to read their moods before they turn on you.
- You blame yourself for their behavior, thinking you could just do more, try harder, be better.
- Narcissists are experts at identifying emotional weak spots — and they’ll initially mirror your needs or pain to create false intimacy. But over time, they use those same vulnerabilities as weapons.
- Narcissistic individuals are often drawn to people with unhealed emotional wounds, unresolved trauma, or low self-esteem — and it’s not by accident.
Healthy, empowered relationships require give and take. Narcissists avoid those because they thrive on imbalance — they prefer relationships where they remain superior, and the other person stays small.
This dynamic plays out both at work and at home. If you’re already questioning your worth, doubting your instincts, or trying to “earn” your boss’s (or partner’s) approval, you may be repeating a painful cycle that a narcissist is happy to prolong.
This overlap isn’t coincidental — it’s conditioning. Narcissists often create a cycle of reward and punishment that trains you to prioritize their needs above your own. When you’ve lived with that dynamic, it can feel normal… even though it’s not healthy.
Understanding the parallel between your professional and personal experiences can be a powerful wake-up call. It can also be the first step toward healing and reclaiming your self-worth in all areas of life.
Strategies for Managing the Relationship
- Set Boundaries (Quietly but Firmly)
Narcissists don’t like being told “no,” but you can protect your time and energy by creating subtle boundaries. For example, you might start blocking focus time on your calendar, or communicate availability in a way that seems helpful — “I’ll circle back with a full update by 3 p.m.”
- Avoid Emotional Triggers
Don’t try to win arguments or appeal to their sense of fairness — narcissistic bosses often view emotion as weakness. Instead, keep your interactions neutral, factual, and strategic.
- Document Everything
Keep written records of meetings, assignments, and decisions. This isn’t just about protecting yourself — it helps you maintain clarity in a confusing dynamic.
- Manage Up Strategically
Understand what your boss values (image, recognition, results) and package your communication accordingly. “I found a way to streamline this — it’ll reflect well on our team’s performance metrics” is more effective than “I worked really hard on this.”
- Build a Support Network
Cultivate relationships with trusted colleagues, mentors, and peers outside your team. Emotional and professional support is crucial when dealing with a draining workplace dynamic.
When It’s Time to Look for Better Opportunities
No job is worth sacrificing your mental health or long-term career growth. If you notice these signs, it may be time to make a strategic exit plan:
- You dread work daily and feel physically or emotionally drained.
- Your self-esteem is eroding from constant criticism or neglect.
- You’re being professionally stifled — no growth opportunities, no credit, no recognition.
- HR and leadership are complicit or unwilling to address toxic behavior.
- Your values are being compromised and you’re becoming someone you don’t recognize.
And if you’ve escaped a narcissistic relationship at home only to encounter another one at work, this is your reminder: You don’t need to prove your worth to anyone who refuses to see it.
Closing Thoughts
You can’t change a narcissist — but you can change how you respond to them, and ultimately, where you choose to share your talents. Working with a narcissistic boss might sharpen your resilience and communication skills, but long-term exposure to toxic leadership is not a badge of honor. It’s a drain on your potential.
If you’re in a toxic situation and unsure where to go next, remember: your career should be a source of purpose and pride — not pain.
You deserve to be led, not managed. Respected, not exploited. Empowered, not diminished.
The moment you start believing that your next opportunity is already within reach — and it may just be the first step toward a life fully free from narcissistic control.
Affirmations:
Reclaiming Self-Worth
I am enough, exactly as I am
My value is not defined by anyone else’s opinion or treatment of me
I deserve Love, Respect, and Kindness
My voice and feelings matter
Emotional Healing
I release guild and shame that never belonged to me
Boundaries and strength
I protect my energy and peace
I do not need to explain or justify my boundaries
Rebuilding trust in Self
I trust myself to recognize healthy relationships
Bryght – Empowered Learning
www.bryghtel.com
Live Podcast, Wednesday May 14th at 12:00 pm:
EPISODE 2: The Power of Self-Belief – Your Journey Starts Here
• Why self-belief is the foundation of success in leadership, business, and life
• Stories of leaders and reinvented individuals who defied odds
• Actionable Takeaway: Daily self-affirmations to build confidence
